Wednesday, March 5, 2008


So Friday night Harrison spent the night with who I believe is his most favorite people in the world- Len and Gerald. I got to have a Haley night. Anyway, Saturday morning I got up and went to the gym and worked out for a while. When I got out to our country house- The Hagans, Harrison came running to the door, so happy to see me. Being that I had just worked out and got out of the tanning bed, I was drenched in sweat. He ran up to me and threw his little arms around my legs and hugged them tight, then wanted me to pick him up. I started with all the, "Mama's hot", Mama's sweaty", Mama's tired, how bout we sit on the floor instead", but he was persistent in wanting to be held. So I picked him up and he just loved all over me. The sweat and the stench didn't even seem to bother him the least little bit. As I was standing there in the kitchen loving all over Harrison, God gently reminded me that He wants us just how we are. Even if we are all hot, sweaty,and stinky. He doesn't want us to clean up for Him, He desires to clean us up. I kept on pondering the thought, and I just was so thankful that my Heavenly Father loves me enough to take me all hot and sweaty, and stinky too. I truly believe that He desires us to come to Him like that. It is not always the easiest thing to do, but my comfort lies in His promises.

Here's some more.... Harrison just turned two years old a month ago, WOW! I can still remember bringing him home from the hospital and all that stuff. Anyway, I had a friend tell me while I was pregnant that people will tell you that the first time you see your baby you will fall in love and you will be so in love with them..... She was encouraging to tell me if it did not happen don't feel bad, because she didn't have all those googly feelings either. Well neither did I. Let me clarify here a minute. Now I have loved Harrison since day one but not all that googly crap that some people make it out to be. Maybe the pain was just too much from being cut from hip bone to hip bone who knows. Anyway, now I just look at him and i get that tight chested feeling you get when you are super excited something. I love him so much that somedays I think that I am not going to be able to keep my chest from exploding. He looks at me and says "Mommy I wove you", oh crap, it gets me everytime. My eyes fill up with tears and I am ready to let them all fall. Time stands still when he is laying on the couch or in the bed with me. To see his face lite up when he learns something new does it to me too. I went and had his pictures made on his birthday, and when I went and picked them up the girl that took them laid them out on the table at her house, and I just lost it. I think she was a little freaked out by all of it, but I just could not help it. I love that little boy more than I can put words too. I was just thinking today how thankful I am that God chose me to be Harrison's mommy. How thankful I am that God has showed me how to love him, because honestly in his early days I worried that I would not be able to love him like he needed and deserved to be loved, but I think I got that down now. I could go on and on, but it is time to do a little studying before hitting the bed.